I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
