After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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