...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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