So drunk, too bad you don't want this
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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