if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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