Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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