I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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