Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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