Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
