so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
