is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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