somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
