The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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