So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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