Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
