I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
