I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
