So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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