Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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