ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
