No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Success! We fucked roommates!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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