Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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