well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
