So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
