Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
