i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
