Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
