he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
