She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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