dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
