yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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