ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Four minutes until I can fart!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize