Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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