you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
