I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
