well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
