all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
