wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
