You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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