I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize