I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
