Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
