Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
