Whod you bang
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
