can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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