Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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