____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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