Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
