found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
