In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
