If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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