oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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