her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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