your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
