I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
