did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
