you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The Olympian is in my bed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
