atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
