i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
