Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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