Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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